My husband and I play video games together, most notably World of Warcraft. In that game, there are several instances that you get to fight whatever bad guys are prevalent in the storyline at that point in the game. In one such instance, you fight a two-headed ogre named Cho’gall. Technically, each head has a name. One is Cho, the other is Gall. At one point, one head says, “I’m trying to speak here!!” to which the other replies, “words, words, words! The master wants murder!!” When I told my husband the topic for this blog (words), he responded with that line.
Here’s the deal though. Our world is filled with words. Some are encouraging and edifying. Others cause hurt and pain. Sometimes it’s not just the words, but how they’re said or how the hearer is doing emotionally. Have you ever misinterpreted someone’s words because you were angry and you thought they were egging you on? I know I have. Several times. Even recently.
The Bible has a lot to say about words. “Out of the abundance of the heart, a man speaks.” “No man can tame the tongue.” “Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.” “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your lips.” “Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.” “set the believers an example in speech…” “The tongue has the power of life and death…”
Can we just say that maybe there is something there about how we should speak and use words?
In my parenting, I’ve noticed that my wonderful four-year-old has discovered the word, “disgusting.” “Mom, that’s disgusting.” “This is a disgusting book.” “that’s disgusting snow, Mom.” I don’t think she quite understands the word yet but it got me thinking about my choices in my words and how I’ll teach her to use her words to build up instead of tear down because what she says has power. I realize when she learns new words, she’s going to use them incorrectly a lot. It’s ok. It’s a part of learning. However, I also want my kids to learn how to use words well. “Fine,” as a response to something I’m asking (said very much like a teenager. Lawdy… she’s a spitfire!), is not appropriate, I tell her. But if I ask her how she’s doing, “fine” might very well be appropriate. There are words that can be used unkindly toward herself or toward others, and I really want her to choose kindness.
I have this horrible tendency to read comments on Facebook, especially when the subject matter is on the controversial side of things. I’m not saying friendly controversies, like “which Girl Scout cookies are best?” (there are only two acceptable answers, neither one is Samoa.) It’s bad. I instantly regret reading them and sometimes I really want to respond to the ignorance I see in posts angrily. I don’t, usually. Sometimes I will type a response and then leave the page without posting it. Sometimes I just shake my head and leave it alone. Regardless of how I choose to respond, something I consider with these situations is how my response will be interpreted. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger,” the writer of Proverbs says in chapter 15. Will my response be interpreted harshly? Or will it be received as a gentle correction?
There is a lot of power in the written and spoken word. It can bring life or ruin and lately I’ve seen it do a lot more ruin. I tend to steer clear of politics whenever possible. Like comments, I find it to be a toxic place. However, because of the diversity of my friends, occasionally, something will pop up in my feed that is important to me, and thus I want to learn about it and see what the issues are and where my friends and major politicians stand. However, it’s difficult for me to see hate speech toward anyone, regardless of my opinion of them (politician, people groups, or other persons) because “Let no unwholesome talk….”
Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for calling out the wrongs of people in power like the peaceful protests that are being spearheaded by the teen survivors of Parkland, Florida. We need to be held accountable for our actions because I truly believe actions speak louder than words. But we don’t need to be belittling others in our social media posts, whether it’s because they are young (“let no one look down on your youth, but set an example…”), female (can we just talk about how “bitch”, “ho”, “bastard” and other pejoratives deride women, but really say nothing about the men? Think about it. We say “man up” when we see someone showing a softer side, and say things like “grown men don’t cry,” but in reality, the feminine aspect of our identities is just as important as is the masculine. Another blog, for another day, perhaps…), the wrong color, or the wrong alignment. Perhaps we belittle people because instead of seeking to understand, we want to feel more powerful and better about ourselves.
So I challenge you, particularly today, to find a way to use words to build up and empower another person. Empowering doesn’t mean disempowering another, a common misconception. Empowering is choosing to help another find their own power, their own voice. It’s choosing to make them stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights. I’d love to hear in what ways you choose to empower others with your words, actions, and even attitude.
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