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When Doubting Isn't Bad.

Listen. Things are happening. They're always happening. Sometimes those things are great and need to happen. Sometimes, they really aren't great or don't really happen, at least in the way presented. I could say I was talking about something specifically, but I'm not. This isn't some passive-aggressive ploy. This is me, finding empathy with a first century "doubter" and actually understanding a part of the Easter story a little differently than in years past.


This past year, I looked at this story in John 20 and realized that Jesus invited the "doubter" to touch his scars and know he is really who he says. (Side note: I realize the story says "a week later" and it's Orthodox Easter today which happens to be a week after my tradition celebrated the Resurrection and i had to chuckle a little bit)"Be still and know..." the psalmist writes. "Abide in me," Jesus says. One thing I have noticed in these verses and in these movements is the intentional slowing down of oneself to fully understand the incomprehensible Godhead. The Bible is filled with people questioning what God is doing. And yet we call these doubts and questions bad.


There's a beauty in leaving space for questions and doubt. For all Thomas knew, the other disciples were pulling a fast one on him. He might have needed the visual and physical proof. Thomas (also called Didymus) was likely a twin (literally, Thomas and Didymus mean "twin") and I'm sure that the idea of twins pranking others existed a lot longer than TikTok. In Genesis, we have the stories of Jacob and Esau where Jacob essentially stole his brother's honor through deception. It's not too far of a leap to think maybe this is where Thomas's mentality was. Maybe he'd seen other "messiahs" pop up, and die, and stay dead, that he thought this was happening again. How could he have been duped like this? We could exist in a world of hypotheticals, but sometimes we ask questions that aren't easily answered in the text, and I often have to stop my over active imagination and love of The Chosen to look plainly at what is written.


THE FACTS: -Thomas was not with the Apostles in the Upper Room when Jesus appeared on Easter. -Jesus appears to Thomas and the disciples one week later. He just showed up. No lock kept him out. (The doors were locked) -Jesus says "Peace be with you" probably because he just appeared. through locked doors. to the disciples who might have been terrified. -Jesus invites Thomas to explore His scarred body before saying "do not doubt." -At no point did Jesus shame Thomas for having disbelief or doubts, so why do we?


It is so easy for us to see Thomas as being a Bad Guy™ when he really just needed to know. Sometimes we are the same way. We will judge the outer expressions of someone's faith as being not real, without taking the time to actually listen to what they're saying. We write them off as faithless, without hope, doubters. In that moment, we have essentially cast them out, shaming them, and saying they have no hope, assuming that only God will reach them. And God will reach them, but I have also seen very little evidence of God reaching someone without using a relationship of some kind to do that. Moral of this story: If you find yourself doubting the validity of God or the Resurrection or anything, you are not a bad person. In all honesty, I've been there. I've wrestled, and God met me there just like He met Thomas.

If you find yourself writing off those with doubts as a lost cause, I would challenge you to explore why. God works through human relationships. It's a core part of the Gospel (Jesus became man while ALSO MAINTAINING his perfect divinity.) If you're just like "cool, Karen, but i have no clue where I am in any of this?" that's ok too. Reach out if you want to. I would love to help point you to ways to see God that are different than much of the Evangelical Church thinks. He's amazing, and I want you to experience that first hand too.


Ok, that's it. That's the post. so long, and GOOD NIGHT!

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