Do you ever have those days that the only way you seem to survive is through copious amounts of caffeine and grace? That has been my life lately.
I have to be completely honest about why, though. I have recently discovered Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix. I was completely uninterested in it as I didn’t think it wasn’t my type of nerdy, but something just drew me in. Perhaps it was the medical part of it all. Or maybe it was the banter. Or maybe it was the acting. or maybe it was…
Whatever.
I’ve stayed up way too late several times watching it. And then early mornings will come and I don’t want to wake up because I wanted to watch “just one more.” “Just one more to see what will happen with Alex. Just one more because Patrick Dempsey’s character has me swooning. Just one more because….” It really doesn’t matter.
While this addiction to a silly primetime soap opera has me reaching for more cups of cold brew coffee (which was on sale at Sprouts last time I went!), like all addictions, it’s not healthy. I know that, and yet, I reach for the tablet for just one more, and reaching in the fridge for more and more cold brew. I really should stop.
This season in my life has been interesting, to say the least. I find myself at multiple crossroads. I want to be sociable, but I want to retreat into myself. I want to worship God, but I want to maintain control. I want to let go of all my worldly possessions, but I feel lost without technology. I want to be successful, yet I question what success actually is. So many times, I’ll say I want “just one more” of things I know are unhealthy and find myself relying on God to get me through the urge. “Just one more” will never be enough. Just one more is a load of, well, crap. It is meaningless. A chasing after the wind.
Isn’t it kind of funny how God reaches us in the mundane? My desire to watch more Netflix has me neglecting my relationship with Him, yet He still seeks me out in it. Karen, I have loved you with an everlasting love. You are mine. There are no contingencies to His love. He didn’t die on the cross only to be resurrected for the ones who obeyed His laws. No. He came for us all.
I forget that too often.
Even in the midst of binging on Grey’s Anatomy, God has reminded me of his unfailing love.
And, in case you’re wondering, I’ll probably still have days I binge on Netflix, but I may stop watching as many at night. There are some things that are better enjoyed… awake.
In Him, -Karen
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