To you mothers out there wishing and hoping for an invitation to be included amongst your peers… To you mothers who feel less than because you’ve chosen to stay home or because you chose to go back to work (for whatever reason. No judgment.)… To you mothers who struggle with anxiety and any time an invitation comes, you feel it’s out of pity… To you, the mothers who give it all because your kids deserve nothing less… To you mothers who prioritize kids rest times and miss out in afternoon festivities among peers… To you, the mothers who feel like you’re going bald because no matter what you say or do, you’re kid(s) won’t listen and you wonder what is wrong with them or you…
I am you. I understand the emotions being a mom bring to the table. It’s hard. It seems impossible. Power struggles are real. You wonder where your sweet little one went when all you see is a temper tantrum in the middle of Chick-Fil-A because there’s a brown spot on the waffle fry, or you’re in the middle of Target, not anywhere near candy or toys, and suddenly you hear your kid’s small voice say “I need that!” and melt down. Been there. Done that. Have the tear stained t-shirt.
This isn’t a post about how to parent, because let’s be real. I parent my three year old differently than I parent my 16 month old. Yes, there are similarities, but like with life, parenting is often a very personal thing learned through trial and error.
This IS a blog filled with empathy. Oh my word. The emotions parenting brings, the challenges of momming, are very real, and unique and difficult at times. Here’s the deal. You may feel you’re at whit’s end, unable to continue parenting. You may have a freakishly hard time not yelling at your kids because all you need is just one moment, a brief moment, of silence to bring you back to reality. You may feel invisible because your kids are what your world revolves around. I’m told it gets better? But trust me, I’m right there with you. You may be exhausted, wishing for a break to take care of yourself, a day to let go and do things you’d forgotten you loved because being a mom doesn’t allow for that. It’s ok. These emotions you feel are ok. You aren’t alone.
Being a mom is rough, and tough, and takes a lot of energy. It’s ok to take a breath, to stop and feel, to be broken. I’ve met God in this brokenness. When I felt like I was at my lowest, God was right there with me. He never told me, “Good luck!” He never brushed me aside. No. He got there, with me, and let me exist. He let me know he is a safe place to air all my dirty laundry, to express all the emotions, to explore all my thoughts. He didn’t necessarily speak words, but He did meet me there where I was and reminded me that his burden is light. When I was at my darkest, God reminded me of Psalm 23, of the shadows, of being set apart for His glory.
When I started this blog over the summer, I had no idea what God was asking me to write about. I still am uncertain about a lot of things regarding this blog, but I do know this. By being faithful to what He’s asked of me, I am having a sweet fellowship with him, a deep, personal relationship. I know that by saying yes to blogging, i’ve said yes to him.
Where is God asking you to say “yes” in your life? How has parenting brought you closer to him?
–In Him, Karen
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