I gave up making resolutions a few years ago. I don’t really keep many of them. One year I said I’d wear makeup every single day. That lasted two weeks. I just don’t like wearing makeup often. Another year I said absolutely no sodas. With the exception of getting a few Cokes instead of sweet teas at Sonic, I nailed that one. Other resolutions have included everything from exercising more to spending less money to eating healthier.
A few years ago, my husband and I adopted the idea of annual goals, or things we wanted to accomplish in the next year. When we remembered, we would print them out and place them all over the house so we would remember what we wanted to accomplish and evaluate regularly our progress on goals.
Yeah… I nixed those last year.
Don’t get me wrong. I love the idea of goals for the year, but like resolutions, I often ditch them after the first two or three months, if I even make it that long.
But somehow, last year, I came across this idea of choosing one word. That one word would permeate the year, and, to me, at least, it took me and my failures out of the picture. It was a word that I felt God wanted me to learn in the course of that year. And last year I felt that word was… “wait.”
Waiting is hard, and truthfully, I probably ditched that word after one or two weeks and didn’t really choose one after that.
I found myself experiencing pain and grief because when God said “wait,” I wanted to jump in. I was full of pride and envy. It wasn’t a good season for me, and I think part of me resented Him for asking me to wait when I desperately wanted to do or have something. I also put my relationship with Him on hold, saying, essentially, “it’s not you; it’s me” when in reality I was blaming Him. Praise Him. He is ever present and he can take it.
I guess Advent kind of woke me up from my daze. I found myself constantly wanting more of Him. And I found myself praying for a new word, any word, that would lead me back to Him. I kept thinking the word “abide” and the passage in John 15. “Abide in me…” some translations have the word “remain.”
Merriam-Webster has several definitions of abide, including “to endure without wielding” and, ironically, “to wait for.” God still has me working on my patience. But unlike the idea of just waiting, abide has this sense of dwelling, staying in place, making a home.
When this word first popped out to me, earlier last year, the idea of making my home in God was about the only thing I could think of which reminded me of something my great aunt once told me. When I was 16, my family made a big move. Up until this point, the biggest move I’d ever made was from one bedroom to another. This move required me to pack up EVERYTHING and start completely over in a new home, in a new town. I was equally intimidated and excited. I dreaded leaving behind my childhood home by was so excited for new friends and a town that seemed to be thriving. My aunt told me my home was where my family was, and that stuck with me. So abiding is less about the place and more about the relationships.
Has God spoken to you about this new year and what plans he has? I’d love to hear about it!
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