If you haven’t heard about the Enneagram or which number you are, what are you waiting for?
I first learned about it a few years ago. My parents went on their church’s retreat into the mountains of New Mexico and came back talking about how their Enneagram and how amazing it was in understanding themselves. I blew it off. (Sorry, Mom and Dad!) I enjoy being a kind of rebel sometimes, and this was just another way for me to rebel. And then I moved here, to Colorado, and people were talking about what number they were and how it was amazing and life changing… yeah yeah yeah. More rebellion! (And to be honest, some of these people likely used the enneagram as excuse to continue what they were doing…) BUT my moms’ group did a discussion over the Enneagram this past fall, and I am now enamored. I took a quick, free quiz, and started reading more about it. It’s fascinating. What I am learning about myself through the Enneagram (I’m an enneagram 2, AKA the Helper) complements what I’ve been learning personally and spiritually. For instance, Enneagram 2s long to be needed/desired and, when unhealthy, will take rejection personally. life changing. It helps me understand exactly what God was teaching me through the bible study I went through last year. There’s also this idea of growth and stress, meaning when you’re in a time of growth or stress, you start exhibiting signs of other numbers. For me, it’s not an excuse to take rejection personally, nor is it a reason to judge my friends for being their “number,” but it does help me to understand their motivations and their hearts. It’s not a way of judgment, though I’m sure some may use it for that, but it’s a way of understanding and coming to a common ground. It also is beautiful to see how different, yet alike, we are.
I’m learning about myself through this, a lot, and I realize I have been learning about this. For instance, this post was a very 2 post to write… and a healthy thing for a 2 to write. I’m learning, constantly, my worth is not in who others see me as, but in who God sees me as. And actually, when I find myself feeling worthless, I remind myself of who God is because He is constant and never changing. It’s a constant battle, with some days worse than others, but I find myself speaking out of His identity into others, calling others to live in who He says they are. That’s been life-giving because I realize it’s not me that is adding value, but Him.
I know this blog has been on the back burner for a while. I started grad school in August and it’s been a constant struggle to get homework done and turned in on time, but it’s been beautiful too, because through it all, God speaks life to me in my classes and as such I find myself falling more and more in love with Him. Perhaps I’ll continue to write what I learn on this blog as I have time, but until then… You, yes you, are valuable. And if you’re having a hard time seeing your worth today, reach out. You’re not alone.
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