God, I feel so alone. But I am here. Where? Every breath you take, you breathe me in. When the sun shines warmly on your shoulders, I shine on you. When the rain falls, I am nourishing you. I am here. I am with you with every sunrise and sunset, day and night, rain or shine or snow. I. am. here.
I have had this old Jars of Clay song in my head for the last week or so that is basically the words to Psalm 118:22. “The stone that the builders have rejected has become the cornerstone.” Most of the time when I hear that, I think of Christ, but the other day, when a friend confided some pretty vulnerable things to me, I started to wonder if perhaps it could also apply to those who also have borne rejection in their lives, those who have been dealing with rejection themselves, those, like me, have felt the very personal pain of rejection. (please note, I’m not an engineer or an architect or in any way, shape, or form with the sciences behind building stuff. It’s very possible that my faulty interpretation of these sciences is messing with my interpretation of the Bible. I’m also coming at this Psalm thousands of years and languages removed….)
Friends, that pain of rejection is so hard. It’s easy to become embittered because of offenses and hurt, perceived or legitimate, and I admit that at times, I’ve let perceived slights control my reactions (usually, it’s my overactive imagination and projecting what I perceive on to others as facts, whether or not that is the case) and I’m learning to take a step back and lean in to God’s grace, and it’s really… really… hard.
It’s become so easy for me to see someone post something on social media, like a trip to the zoo with friends or a day date to coffee with no kids (the dream!) and perceive that as an insult to me, with the fictitious caption “Look what we got to do. Sorry you couldn’t join us!” And, confession time, I’ve not been surrendering it to God as I should, but you know what? When i do remember t surrender, He is so faithful. It doesn’t always change the circumstances, but it does change… me. When I remember to pray, when I remember to surrender, I find that I have such shalom that it is less about me, and more about Him, Glory BE!
So friends, when You are feeling discouraged, forlorn, forsaken, ignored, remember this for me (and remind me when I am melancholic!), God’s presence and purpose for our lives is independent of our emotions and completely dependent on him and his character. Realizing this for myself has been freeing, and I hope it can do the same for you.
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