I’ve thought about this topic a lot. Forgiveness. It’s everywhere.
This past year, I studied Genesis with a group of ladies… Consistently, we thought of how crazy it was that God forgave humanity, from the Garden onward. Esau forgiving Jacob? But why? Because God forgives.
God forgives.
What does that even mean? Forgiveness? Psychology Today says forgiveness is releasing of anger and resentment, but it doesn’t mean reconciliation. I think we, somehow, have gotten the idea that forgiveness always means reconciliation. I mean, God forgives and reconciles us to Himself. But sometimes reconciliation doesn’t happen for us. Forgiveness does not mean to ignore the boundaries in place, but it does literally mean, “let go,” as in to let go of another’s debt. Society has a way of saying that those boundaries no longer exist when we seek forgiveness, that letting go means that the offender can repeatedly hurt us over and over again. Sometimes, we see forgiveness as a way to allow offenses to continue, especially in relationships that are toxic and unhealthy. Forgiveness isn’t expecting the offender to change; it releasing their debt to your health and wholeness, whether they ask for it or not, and it begins the process of our own healing.
Forgiveness is releasing the offender from their responsibility for your wholeness and healing.
But perhaps you’ve held onto resentment. Perhaps holding on to this anger and resentment has become so familiar you don’t know who or what you are without it. Perhaps it’s a feeling of security, as long as you don’t forgive them, they cannot hurt you in the same way. Perhaps you’re holding on to it because you see the guild in yourself and to release it means that you have to forgive yourself too.
Like a sunrise marks a new day, forgiveness marks the beginning of the journey to wholeness and healing. It’s a fresh beginning, a way to move forward, a way to walk in grace to God’s image bearers and live a life filled with His unrelenting love. Forgiveness leads to healing.
Forgiveness leads to healing.
I’d love to say I’m a pro at forgiving. After all, the Bible says we are to forgive 70 times 7. So what happens after the 70 times 7 plus 1? Do we hold onto that offense? No. We keep forgiving, because He forgave us. But sometimes, it really sucks and it’s really hard. Anyone who tells you different is living under a delusion. And, as God often does, I have been presented several times with opportunities to forgive, and the hardest person to forgive? Myself.
For some reason, I find it not so difficult to forgive someone who’s hurt me immensely. Many times, as I work through the pain of an offense against me, forgiveness toward the offender comes naturally as I work on personal healing, but when I have to forgive myself, I sit there, crying, unable to forgive myself for significant amounts of time. For instance, I totally spaced on my daughter’s last day of Kindergarten during the pandemic and realized as the Zoom ended that she’d missed it. She went back outside and played happily, but I literally spent days beating myself up over this even though she, at six years old, was quick to say, “it’s ok, Mom.”
Forgiveness toward others is great, but have you forgiven yourself?
When given the chance to hang on to the anger or resentment and the opportunity to forgive, choose forgiveness… always.
And don’t wait. Holding on to that anger/resentment until the other person apologizes only adds an infection to an already open wound. It begins to fester and leads to a bitter and angry relationship, not just to the one who offends, but to others around you. Forgiveness truly does allow for that wound to begin healing. When you let God lead you to this spirit of forgiveness, His glory is seen throughout your life as relationships see healing and your life gives Him all the glory.
But what about when presented with the opportunity to extend forgiveness yourself? Can you think of a time that you forgave someone? Maybe it was a family member or a friend? Or maybe it was an enemy? You’re presented with an apology and maybe you’re not ready to accept it, or maybe it was a cherry on top of God’s goodness and you’re able to say wholeheartedly forgiveness was extended and their apology was accepted.
What’s stopping you from forgiving?
Comments